Ten Dutch fashion trends that we don’t want to see ever again

We are the biggest fans of Dutch casual style – flip flops and shorts to the office, jeans in three star restaurants and bikinis in the park – but there are some fashion trends we really have seen enough of.

Cut-offs with black tights

Ladies please. You need fabulous legs to wear teeny tiny cut-offs, and thick black winter tights don’t make them look thinner or better. Did Daisy Duke wear anything under her cut-offs? That should tell you enough.

Daisy shows them how its done

Daisy shows them how its done

Topknots and beards

Okay guys, you look arty, you really do… but we’re getting fed up of seeing all you hipsters with your flowing locks tied up on top of your heads and your straggly beards.  We know shaving is a bore, but unless you can grow it properly, facial hair has to go.

White jeans tucked into brown boots

No unsightly bulges here

No unsightly bulges here

Skin-tight spotless white jeans smoothed into designer boots are de rigeur for a certain type of lady from Amsterdam Zuid, ‘t Gooi or Wassenaar. We think they want to look as if they’ve just come back from riding. But we know they haven’t because that frosted hair is never out of place.

Little girl pink

Two shades of pink

Fifty shades of pink

You can spot little Dutch girls anywhere in the world because of all that pink. It’s not pale pink, but a bright scary pink. Pink leggings, pink rucksacks with cutsey motifs, pink padded jackets with frilly bits, pink sweatshirts with cutesy motifs, and pink things in their hair. It’s worse than all that orange.

Spiky red hair

The snackajack ad agency gets it right

The snackajack ad agency gets it right

Beloved by women of a certain age, short red spiky locks are often coupled with  layers – lots and lots of layers. Found mainly in urban settings, women with red spiky hair tend to work for the council or in the care industry… three days a week and never on Fridays.

Shaved head scooter boys

Not a good look

Not a good look

The greased curls of a few years ago have made way for shaved heads up to the  ears, leaving a centimeter of growth on top – sort of like a monk’s tonsure in reverse. Gentlemen, all that stubble is not going to attract girls and it makes you look pretty scary as well. Or perhaps that is the idea.

Ponytail clones

Eeek. A brunette slipped through the net

Shock horror: A brunette slipped through the net

Someone out there is cloning Dutch girls with long straight  blonde hair pulled back into a pony tail. They can be easily spotted in the nicer parts of town in skinny jeans and carrying matching hockey sticks. We often get a terrible urge to whip out the scissors when we see those pony tails swinging down the street. Get a fringe instead.

Dead dog collars

They make such great fake fur these days

Is it a cat, a dog or a rabbit?

The universal wardrobe of every species of Dutch native, from the spiky redheads to little girls in pink and the shaved head scooter boys – those hideous fur collars on a parka. Every year the fur gets fluffier… but people, you are wearing a dead dog that was probably skinned alive around your neck.

Please note: We haven’t gone into the horror of red trousers on middle aged men or white leggings here because our friends at Stuff Dutch People Like have already done that wonderfully already.

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8 thoughts on “Ten Dutch fashion trends that we don’t want to see ever again

  1. bobbianderson

    I was always sickened and incredulous about the amount of real fur (“dead dog collars”) in the Netherlands till I found out it was one of the world’s top fur farming countries. 😦 Now it’s less surprising, but still a national shame. Especially as most of them do not know it’s real and will deny it vehmently!

    Reply
  2. Marisabel Munoz (@MarisabelArt)

    I can’t never find a proper coat my size because of those annoying fur collars! >< But on the not-agree side, little girls are overloaded in pink all around the modern world O.o that's not so dutch. If anything is so… barbie.

    Reply
  3. Sabrina

    You might have noticed that the spikey short red/blonde hair is often combined with…..the famous horrific pair of white threequarter leggings and a small backpack! :-O

    Reply
  4. Pete

    White jeans tucked into brown boots. Yes, they have been riding. They got the bowed legs and thigh gap to show for it. The for the Shaved head scooter boys. That has been imported from N. Korea.

    Reply
  5. alongfortheride2015

    I have never understood the short, spiky, very unnatural red hair thing… and never has gone out of styles since I have lived here. I also would like to see the men lay off the hair gel.

    Reply

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