We love King’s Day. We really do. We love the crowds and the music and being part of the world’s biggest market. We love the fact the sun nearly always comes out and we even love all that orange. But, there are just a few teeny weeny things we don’t really like… if we can be party poopers for just a second.
1. Feeling guilty because we were out celebrating King’s Night until the wee small hours and so did not get up early enough to get the best bargains.
2. Buying too much – like that huge fire fighter’s coat and the books and the straw bag and the wine glasses and the hat stand and all other things which seemed like such a good idea at the time.
3. Getting all our junk home and finding nothing fits, the book is missing the final pages and the straw bag has mildew.
4. Not buying anything at all apart from a squashy white roll containing warme been ham which we regret as soon as we’ve eaten it.
5. Selling our own stuff and having to deal with people who try to knock 50 cents off the one euro we are charging for pair of hardly-worn United Nude shoes.
6. Meeting people from a distant past whom we had hoped never to bump into again.
7. Cute children with violins who can’t play but we still feel morally obliged to give 50 cents
8. Drunken men peeing in our doorway – why can’t they use one of those delightful overflowing portable urinals which the council kindly provides instead?
9. Stepping over the pee, the vomit and all the piles of crap – the broken toys, the saggy t-shirts and the old copies of National Geographic – that no-one wanted to buy and no-one could be bothered to take home.
10. Feeling obliged to have a good time because, yay fantastic, it’s King’s Day! Even though we would rather have gone on a long weekend to Paris instead.